8th Grade Journal (1992-1993) – Chapter 7
I am currently going to Hillside Intermediate School. I am in 8th grade, my favorite classes are Office Aid and Journalism. I may be interested in a career that deals with either of those in the future.
This book would be like a hamburger without the meat, if I didn’t tell about my most recent and most important situation I have found myself in.
It all started about the same time that this 8th grade year began. I wasn’t as happy this past year, as I had been in previous years. It seemed like everything in my life was stressful, an ordeal, nothing seemed easy. I was tired all of the time, and my life just wasn’t as whole as it had been before.
One day, my mother and I were in our basement watching a movie. I went upstairs to make some popcorn. As I was waiting for the popcorn to finish cooking, I scratched my neck. I noticed that I had a little lump in the bottom left side of my neck. I checked they other side of my neck for any lumps. There weren’t any. “Mom,” I yelled. I ran downstairs to show my mother my neck. We began to get a little worried, my mom got out her book on health and we found that lumps in the throat sometimes mean swollen glands. I had had a cold, so just figured that I had an infection that had resulted in swollen glands. We called my doctor and he agreed that we were probably right, and he gave me a prescription to start taking over the phone. He said, “If the lump doesn’t go down in two weeks, give me a call.” So, we tried out the medicine for two weeks but the lump wasn’t going down. It was getting bigger.
So we paid a visit to my doctor. The doctors were perplexed at first, but then my main doctor said, “Well, let’s get a chest x-ray.” The chest x-ray revealed that I had a white mass in my chest. They took my Mom outside the room to talk. They told her that they thought it was cancer. I was oblivious to all the happenings outside the door, until my Mom came in the room with tears in her eyes. That’s when I knew that something was seriously wrong. I was further assured of this when one of the doctors told us that I would have to get a biopsy to find out what was really wrong with me. They said they’d contact Primary Children’s Hospital and inform them of everything that was going on. We were to go there the next day. I felt flustered. What was going on? (Why was it going on?) Why did everything feel so strange all of a sudden?
When we got home my mom took my brother Tom outside to talk. I decided to call Sarrah and tell her about all of the weird stuff that was happening. She didn’t believe me and thought I was joking. But she soon found out this was no joke and so did I.
The next day at PCH, as the first doctor to see me was looking me over he said, rather bluntly, “Well, basically what we’re most likely looking at, is a type of lymphoma.”
“Lympho-what?” I thought.
The rest of the day was spent having my blood taken, taking x-rays and being told what to expect, if what the doctors predicted was wrong with me, was actually true. I soon found out that the word “lymphoma” meant “cancer of the lymph nodes.” I felt like a statue. I didn’t know whether to cry or scream, or just tell all the doctors to shut up for a minute and let me think. So, I just sat there, soaking up all this new information like a sponge. All I wanted to do was go home and have all this stop and let things go back to normal.
When I finally did get home, I started bawling. All I could think about was, “Why was this happening to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?”
I have a whole new set of problems now, and even though it’s tough to go through this, I am actually grateful for this experience, because I’ve experienced something most of the kids my age and even most adults can’t even comprehend. I am a lot stronger and braver now, than I ever was, and by far the biggest thing I’ve gained is knowledge. Sometimes I can just feel it, flowing through me like a river. And in the end, my body may have suffered a bit, but I can help that by developing good habits to make it as healthy as it can be. But it was my spirit that was nourished and that is something some people never accomplish. Just to think that I still have my whole life ahead of me, and to already have learned this much, is an utter joy to me. That is why I’m grateful.
This book would be like a hamburger without the meat, if I didn’t tell about my most recent and most important situation I have found myself in.
It all started about the same time that this 8th grade year began. I wasn’t as happy this past year, as I had been in previous years. It seemed like everything in my life was stressful, an ordeal, nothing seemed easy. I was tired all of the time, and my life just wasn’t as whole as it had been before.
One day, my mother and I were in our basement watching a movie. I went upstairs to make some popcorn. As I was waiting for the popcorn to finish cooking, I scratched my neck. I noticed that I had a little lump in the bottom left side of my neck. I checked they other side of my neck for any lumps. There weren’t any. “Mom,” I yelled. I ran downstairs to show my mother my neck. We began to get a little worried, my mom got out her book on health and we found that lumps in the throat sometimes mean swollen glands. I had had a cold, so just figured that I had an infection that had resulted in swollen glands. We called my doctor and he agreed that we were probably right, and he gave me a prescription to start taking over the phone. He said, “If the lump doesn’t go down in two weeks, give me a call.” So, we tried out the medicine for two weeks but the lump wasn’t going down. It was getting bigger.
So we paid a visit to my doctor. The doctors were perplexed at first, but then my main doctor said, “Well, let’s get a chest x-ray.” The chest x-ray revealed that I had a white mass in my chest. They took my Mom outside the room to talk. They told her that they thought it was cancer. I was oblivious to all the happenings outside the door, until my Mom came in the room with tears in her eyes. That’s when I knew that something was seriously wrong. I was further assured of this when one of the doctors told us that I would have to get a biopsy to find out what was really wrong with me. They said they’d contact Primary Children’s Hospital and inform them of everything that was going on. We were to go there the next day. I felt flustered. What was going on? (Why was it going on?) Why did everything feel so strange all of a sudden?
When we got home my mom took my brother Tom outside to talk. I decided to call Sarrah and tell her about all of the weird stuff that was happening. She didn’t believe me and thought I was joking. But she soon found out this was no joke and so did I.
The next day at PCH, as the first doctor to see me was looking me over he said, rather bluntly, “Well, basically what we’re most likely looking at, is a type of lymphoma.”
“Lympho-what?” I thought.
The rest of the day was spent having my blood taken, taking x-rays and being told what to expect, if what the doctors predicted was wrong with me, was actually true. I soon found out that the word “lymphoma” meant “cancer of the lymph nodes.” I felt like a statue. I didn’t know whether to cry or scream, or just tell all the doctors to shut up for a minute and let me think. So, I just sat there, soaking up all this new information like a sponge. All I wanted to do was go home and have all this stop and let things go back to normal.
When I finally did get home, I started bawling. All I could think about was, “Why was this happening to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?”
I have a whole new set of problems now, and even though it’s tough to go through this, I am actually grateful for this experience, because I’ve experienced something most of the kids my age and even most adults can’t even comprehend. I am a lot stronger and braver now, than I ever was, and by far the biggest thing I’ve gained is knowledge. Sometimes I can just feel it, flowing through me like a river. And in the end, my body may have suffered a bit, but I can help that by developing good habits to make it as healthy as it can be. But it was my spirit that was nourished and that is something some people never accomplish. Just to think that I still have my whole life ahead of me, and to already have learned this much, is an utter joy to me. That is why I’m grateful.
So, wish me luck with the hair issue – once again! Well, I guess I should tell you about my last treatment. Last one wasn’t as good as the one before, but, it was better than the first two. I still threw up about 10 times, but wasn’t too bad. Except, however, for the fit I threw at my mother in the car on the way home from Grandma Lorraine’s. I was mad because nobody was letting me take my time getting better, and they wanted things to be like the time before, and it made me MAD! And, it felt REAL GOOD to scream and yell a little bit, and from now on, I’m going to do it from now on, whenever I feel like it!
