Dear Diary – 1/3/93,
Hi. How are ya? How’s life been to you over the past – oh – 8 months? Life’s not been so great to me. Because – you see – last November we found I have c-a-n-c-e- r. Cancer. Hodgkin’s Disease to be exact. I’ve had 3 treatments of chemotherapy so far, and tomorrow I’m going to have surgery at 7:30 in the morning to have a catheter put in called the “portocath” (I think that is how you spell it). I was supposed to write to you about this sooner, since everybody keeps telling me I should be keeping a journal about this stuff, but I just haven’t got around to it yet. I don’t want to go to sleep, and it’s pretty late right now (about an hour behind when I should’ve gone to bed, 9:30) because I’m scared. I mean, tonight’s my last night without a thing in my chest, and I hate the idea of surgery, because my last operation (a biopsy to determine what exactly was wrong with me), wasn’t so pleasant because I hated having the anesthesia. It was like a nightmare started in my head as soon as I breathed it. Oh! I have some good news! I haven’t lost my hair yet!
Well, I’ve lost some, but I’m not even close to being bald yet! And even if I do lose it – we’ve already ordered a wig which I was supposed to get yesterday, but, due to bad weather (really bad weather, tons of snow, more than I’ve ever seen!) we had to cancel the appointment with the hair people, and postpone it to sometime, maybe this week, if I’m feeling well enough. The chemotherapy isn’t as bad as it was the first two treatments because they gave me a new drug to help with the nausea and vomiting, which really helped! After 3 treatments, I’m already doing a lot better! I had cancer in 3 spots, my right abdomen, the left side of my neck, and in my chest, and already the spot in my neck has been reduced 25%, and in my chest the tumor is at starting size, and the part in my abdomen is completely gone. And, fortunately, when they caught it, they caught it very early.
Who would’ve thought – me – with CANCER! Although – I always had a feeling when it came to cancer. It always affected me really deep when I’d see the kids on chemo. that didn’t have hair. I don’t know – maybe Heavenly Father was trying to tell me something.
Anyway, everybody is really nice and caring and we (me and my family) appreciate all of the support we’re getting. And I’ve learned to accept it, and now am just trying to get better. My holidays were good, better than I expected. I got a leather jacket! But, that’s not the only thing. The thing that really made it special was that Lisa & Savannah were here. They are two of my favorite relatives. I love them so much! And I’ve been really sad today and yesterday because they had to go back to San Diego today. And I won’t see them again until April probably. But, the good thing is, is that next time I see them, my cancer will probably be gone. So that is something to look forward to, since Lisa & Mike are two of my very favorite cousins, and Savannah is the cutest baby I’ve ever seen, and she gets cuter every time I see her. Well, I better go back to bed.
Wish me luck tomorrow! See you later – I hope.
Love, Sarah – the one and only!
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Seeing the end from the beginning...
"Well, wish me luck! I’m not quite through with this yet! I still have to pull a bit more strength out of me to help me deal with this stuff!"
The purpose of this site is to inspire hope and offer courage through the sharing of a unique perspective captured in Sarah's journal entries during one of the greatest challenges of her life. I share these details with her permission.
Sarah was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma in the Fall of 1992, in 8th grade at the age of 13. Over approximately 9 months she received multiple surgeries and treatments, including chemotherapy and radiation to treat tumors and cancerous cells in her neck, chest and abdomen. She agonized over the loss of her hair and feared the implications of her disease.
Currently, as a wonderful mother of 3, she proudly carries the lessons learned from that ordeal and is a stronger friend and mother because of it. I marvel at what she endured at such a challenging age. I am eager to share her perspective of how she pushed through this ordeal for others to know who she is and what she overcame. I can attest that because of this trial she has a love for many overlooked things in life, a sincere appreciation of good health and as she stated as a 13 year old, she is actually grateful for the experience.
-Spencer
The purpose of this site is to inspire hope and offer courage through the sharing of a unique perspective captured in Sarah's journal entries during one of the greatest challenges of her life. I share these details with her permission.
Sarah was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma in the Fall of 1992, in 8th grade at the age of 13. Over approximately 9 months she received multiple surgeries and treatments, including chemotherapy and radiation to treat tumors and cancerous cells in her neck, chest and abdomen. She agonized over the loss of her hair and feared the implications of her disease.
Currently, as a wonderful mother of 3, she proudly carries the lessons learned from that ordeal and is a stronger friend and mother because of it. I marvel at what she endured at such a challenging age. I am eager to share her perspective of how she pushed through this ordeal for others to know who she is and what she overcame. I can attest that because of this trial she has a love for many overlooked things in life, a sincere appreciation of good health and as she stated as a 13 year old, she is actually grateful for the experience.
-Spencer